I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
