Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
