I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
