pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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