so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
