You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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