Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
