I can't breathe out the right side of my face
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
