I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
