That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
