matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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