O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
