I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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