C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
