Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
