I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
