hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize