I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
