you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
