doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
