Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
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