Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
