dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
