just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
