R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
