I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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