It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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