When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
