i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
There r osticjed everywhere
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
