He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
