took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
