if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
