Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
