You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
