i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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