So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
