i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
