No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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