I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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