just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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