I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
where does the pee come out of this thing
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
