watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
