I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Your penis caused this!
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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