Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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