You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
