Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
