nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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