I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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