Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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