That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
