Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
