You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
