i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
