Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
