do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
