ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
