My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
