We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
