fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
