yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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