brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
