This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
