Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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